How to Finally Fight Boredom and Loneliness
So that you never feel like there's nothing to look forward to
“There’s not much going on.” — every single boring person
I recently read a report that Toronto could be one of the loneliest cities. Since reading the article, I’ve had a busy few months filled with various activities. There hasn’t even been a moment to feel lonely. I find myself questioning who they contacted for this report.
On the other hand, I understand how frustrating it can be when you’re feeling bored because I’ve been there in the past. I also talk with many readers and friends who don’t have much going on. They dread the work week and then spend their weekends stuck on the couch binge-watching whatever absurd murder-related documentary has been released on Netflix.
We will look at how never to be bored again, even if you live in a city known for loneliness.
The secret to fighting boredom and loneliness.
“A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.” — Roald Dahl
You must always be on some mission and have something to look forward to. You need hobbies and activities in your life that will keep you focused and engaged.
This is the only way to fight boredom. Your mind will wander if you don’t have a mission or something to focus on. If you have nothing that excites you, you’ll fill time with nonsense or sit around feeling lonely. You’ll be perpetually bored if your job is your only social outlet.
How can you always be on a mission and have something to look forward to?
Play sports or join a team.
Try to learn a new skill.
Find a hobby you can realistically pursue.
Find like-minded people.
Let’s break these down.
Play sports or join a team.
I was looking for something to do in the evenings in the summer of 2022, so I joined a recreational co-ed soccer team. I enjoyed the camaraderie and social aspect so much that I started two teams with various new friends I met on the field. I guarantee you that there’s a recreational sports team that you can join near you.
Here’s how you can start:
Pick a reasonably casual sport to play (pickleball, tennis, basketball, softball, soccer, etc.).
Sign up as a free agent if you can’t find a team.
Make friends and try to make your own team.
Try to get better or at least have a positive attitude so people want to play with you.
Try to learn a skill.
Learning a new skill, like picking up a language or playing the drums, will go a long way in the battle against boredom. You can’t be bored if you have a challenge that keeps you occupied.
What are skills you can try to learn?
Coding.
Playing an instrument.
Playing chess.
Google “fun skills to learn for [insert your demographic]” and see what pops up.
Find a hobby you can realistically pursue.
Is there a hobby that you’ve been thinking about for years? It’s easier than ever to pick up a new hobby that will help you fight boredom.
Here are some totally random ideas for hobbies:
Stamp collecting.
Board game meetups.
Get into hiking.
Try dance lessons.
Go rock climbing.
Start axe throwing.
Taking cold dips in the lake.
Acrobatic yoga in the park.
Every single hobby has its own community, which leads us to the next point…
Find like-minded people.
For all of the negatives of social media, it’s easier than ever to find your people. Whenever I’ve found a new hobby or tried something different, I’ve been invited into a group with like-minded people. When you join a new group, the current members will indoctrinate you and tell you all about it. You’ll get invites into random social media groups, from WhatsApp to Facebook.
The worst things to do when bored and lonely.
“If you find it difficult to become immersed in your work throughout the day, it’s worth questioning whether your tasks are difficult and complex enough. If you’re frequently bored, consider whether your job takes advantage of your unique skill set.” — Chris Bailey in “Hyperfocus”
Whenever I hear from someone who appears to be stuck in this situation where they’re perpetually bored, it usually seems like they’re not taking any initiative to change things.
The worst things to do when bored or lonely are:
Binge-watch another show.
Only hang out with your co-workers.
Talk about how bored you are.
Turn down all opportunities to try new things.
Complain on social media.
Share conspiracy theories.
Refuse to put yourself out there.
If you stew in misery, you’ll remain bored and lonely. You’ll never make new friends if you keep complaining.
What if you can’t think of anything?
There’s something for everyone. The goal of this article is to give you more than enough ideas to get started.
Here are a few ideas if you’re still thinking that you could be bored and lonely:
Look up Facebook groups for a niche activity.
Visit a board game cafe.
Enter a tournament for something you’re into.
See if your condo or community offers anything social.
Go to events you’re invited to.
Try a bunch of things.
Say yes instead of thinking of excuses.
I promise there’s a community for any hobby or interest you're even remotely into. This could be a digital group or some monthly in-person gathering.
“The arrow doesn’t seek the target, the target draws the arrow. We must be aware of what we attract in life because it is no accident or coincidence.” — Matthew McConaughey in “Greenlights”